11-17-21 Glenda Simpkins Hoffman
Earlier this year I read the novel Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. Early on, the narrator makes clear the purpose: “This story is about a lot of things, but mostly about idiots. So it needs saying from the outset that it’s always very easy to declare that other people are idiots, but only if you forget how idiotically difficult being human is.”
So true. Being human is difficult, and one of the most difficult parts of it is dealing with anxiety. Through artful and creative writing, Backman explores these truths through the lives of eight diverse, peculiar people—strangers checking out an apartment for sale who personify anxiety. Like a weaver creating a beautiful tapestry, Backman takes the thread of their present crisis and pulls forward the threads of each person’s past life experiences, helping us to understand a little about why each person is the way he or she is now. Then he laces together the lives of these individuals through a unique shared experience that leads to a surprising community of healing and transformation.
The beauty of the story, like any really good story, is seeing how lives are changed. As this small group of anxious people spends time together sharing their stories, empathizing with each other’s painful pasts, they change. We the readers get to witness how each person is somehow freed to live a different, better future than any could have ever imagined or made possible on their own. They do not have perfect lives, but their lives are better, richer, more hopeful and connected.
In my last blog, I wrote on Living Without Guilt and Regrets, which is about allowing God to resolve our past. Anxiety has to do with the future—the uncertainty of what might happen or sometimes the certainty that something terrible will happen. Anxiety is an overwhelming problem in our day for old and young alike. The truth is that we don’t have complete control over what happens to us in life. There is uncertainty about specifics related to our future, and this can and does cause an overwhelming sense of anxiety for many.
Again, Paul’s words in Philippians 3:13-14: “Beloved I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Paul assures us that in Jesus Christ our past is resolved and our future is already secure. We know ultimately that we will go to be with the Lord in his glorious presence. He will make all things right in his time and in his way. There are no guarantees about all we might face along the way, but we can remain hopeful and confident in our Lord and the good future he has for us.
Jesus Christ is the Living Lord of history who has promised to be with us and never leave us. Through the Holy Spirit, he is our companion in the present, just as he is the one who resolved our past and sealed our future. Believing this truth frees us to press on and enjoy the present and focus on what is truly important today.
Knowing this in our heads is not enough. We need to find ways to experience it in our everyday, ordinary lives. Let’s start by defining what anxiety is. Pastor and author Rich Villodas shares, “Anxiety is the automatic response to a perceived or real threat. To be human is to be anxious and to be anxious is not simply expressed in feelings of fear. It could be expressed in feelings of control and manipulation and anger and obsessiveness, and that’s anxiety as well.
“I remember hearing a pastor, a very well-known pastor, say, ‘You know, anxiety is just not my thing. I’m not an anxious person.’ And I’m thinking, ‘You’re not a human then.’ Because it’s an automatic response, and we all have various automatic responses. And it might not look like anxiety, but the fact that we express it that way is anxiety.”1
So, we all have anxiety (however it is expressed). The problem is that to be regularly shaped by anxiety diminishes our humanity. Undoubtedly that is why Paul goes on to write in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not worry about anything [or be anxious for nothing], but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
I want to share four key practices that the Holy Spirit has used in my life and the lives of others to transform our anxiety to peace:
Self-Examination helps us to pay attention to our emotions, especially the more difficult emotions we like to deny or suppress. Take time for self-examination and ask yourself, “Who and what situations make me anxious?” This may be an emotion or it might be manifested in our body through headaches, tiredness, or muscle tightness. Our interactions with others might also reveal harshness, criticism, withdrawal, outbursts. Rather than blaming people or circumstances, we pay attention to how this might be a manifestation of anxiety. Paying attention to our life can lead to better self-regulation and a deeper experience of peace.
Prayer helps us deal with our worries as we realize that the provision of the kingdom of God is available to us in every circumstance, large or small. As the wonderful hymn says, “What a friend we have in Jesus…. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.” In Philippians 4:6-7 above, we are invited to pray specifically about what is on our heart and mind. But we are not only to ask for what we want or need but to recognize with thanksgiving what God has already given. As we pray, we see things from God’s perspective, which helps us to let go of anxiety and trust God with our problems and concerns in a new light. You might consider writing down specific prayers to keep focused and to help you remember God’s goodness and faithfulness in answering prayer.
Memorization and meditation on scripture are means of grace the Holy Spirit uses to transform our anxiety to peace. What we think about and pay attention to influences who we are becoming. We need to minimize focusing on negative messages that lead to anxiety and depression and focus on what is true, honorable, pure, excellent, worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8-9) . As a young adult, my life was transformed as I memorized and meditated on the truth of God’s word like Philippians 4:6-7 (above); Matthew 6:25-35; 1 Peter 5:6-7; Isaiah 43:1-4; and Isaiah 41:10.
Authentic and Vulnerable Relationships are important in the journey of transformation. So many of us think we are too busy for these kinds of relationships. Brain science has shown that sharing our stories in trusted relationships literally changes our brains and our lives, as it did for the characters in Anxious People. I have witnessed this happening in small groups and in spiritual friendships. Naming our difficult emotions in the presence of others can help dispel the sense of darkness and weight so that we can experience joy and peace.
Dealing with our anxiety not only changes us but transforms the way we see and interact with others. This quote from Anxious People challenged me: “Some people accept that they will never be free of their anxiety, they just learn to carry it. She tried to be one of them. She told herself that was why you should always be nice to other people, even idiots, because you never know how heavy their burden is.”
I think many have given up on the hope that anxiety can be transformed. But I believe and know from experience that the unconditional love of God, the amazing grace of Christ, and the awesome power of the Spirit can change us so that we are able to experience the abundant life Jesus has already given. Not perfectly, and it certainly doesn’t happen in an instant. It’s a lifelong process. But God is faithful and will fulfill his promises.
As followers of Christ, we aren’t called to just to be nice, though that’s better than being rude or mean. We are becoming like Christ. More and more, we are to become compassionate people who are able to see and value other people as beloved creations of God. We are to love others as Jesus has loved us as we manifest the fruit of the Spirit in our lives and relationships. We are called to experience and share the abundant life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. May it be so, Lord. May it be so.